Did you know that being in regular contact with a narcissist can trigger IBS symptoms? Narcissistic abuse and IBS can go hand in hand.
Whether that person is a parent, a sibling or another family member, a partner, a boss or coworker, they may be an important regular IBS trigger.
You may be nodding your head knowingly here, or actually wondering whether you know one. So here’s how you can recognise a narcissist. And how to recover from narcissistic abuse and IBS.
What is a narcissist?
A narcissist is a type of person who has a deep wound of insecurity – but you would not know it from the outside.
They tend to be quite charming, charismatic and attractive. Yet beyond all the hype their relationship to you tends to be conditional and superficial.
If narcissistic abuse and IBS has been part of your life for a long time, you may not even really see it.
However you will somehow feel alone and confused in their presence.
They LOVE the company of sensitive, empathic people who look after them and boost them up.
How do I know this? Because I have a narcissist in my life.
How to spot a narcissist?
Here are 10 questions to ask yourself:
- Is everything always about them?
- Do they act in an entitled way, as if they deserve special treatment?
- Do they often bring the conversation back to themselves?
- Are they always looking for validation and admiration?
- Do you feel like a convenience? Never a priority?
- Do they pull you in, and then push you away?
- Do you feel alone or confused in their presence?
- Are they critical, judgmental and drag you down?
- Do they wield money, anger or power over you?
- Do they tend to put you down, make out that it’s your fault – and tell you you’re too sensitive?
How is a narcissist and your IBS potentially linked?
The problem with narcissists is that they are incapable of deep, unconditional love. Their sense of love is self-serving.
YOU have a role in THEIR life.
As long as you are telling them they are wonderful and keep them on a pedestal, everything will be well. For a while…
A narcissist will typically love you up to draw you in, and then use fear and shame to put you down.
One day they’re fine, charming even, then they can suddenly turn on you and get moody or angry with you – and begin to put you down.
Being a decent person, you will probably think it’s you, and that if you try to do better, it will appease them.
But it won’t.
They will criticise you more and more often, so that they can keep their image of superiority intact.
You become more and more confused, as your self esteem becomes eroded.
If you are a child, you will likely develop the firm and damning belief that you’ll never be enough.
As an adult you may self-sabotage or binge food to not feel that pain and fill the void that you feel.
This narcissistic abuse can wreak havoc with your emotions, your digestive system – and fuel IBS.
(And this is actually more common than you may think!)
Does this mean I will have IBS forever?
I certainly didn’t see the link with narcissistic abuse and my IBS for a long time. I was caught up in the medical world of digestive issues being caused by eating the “wrong” foods.
The narcissist in my life turned out to be a major IBS trigger.
But I did manage to dismantle that trigger. And you can learn to do that too.
If you are committed, you can recover from narcissistic abuse and IBS.
How to recover from narcissistic abuse and IBS
I only really saw this trigger (or rather this set of triggers) in my last job where, guess what, I found I had a narcissistic boss. Charming at first, then out to use me either as a scapegoat and/or to take credit for my work and further her career.
At first I went into blaming and feeling resentful – and my IBS just got more and more chronic.
I stayed in that helpless, hopeless space some time – and finally decided that this pattern needed to change.
I decided I was never going to be dominated by a narcissist again. Ever!
Having looked into research into neuroplasticity and knew this could be done.
I learned to released the emotions and IBS triggers linked to being on the receiving end of a narcissist.
This was an important part in releasing chronic IBS.
Now I can “smell” a narcissist a mile off! And I no longer suffer with IBS or any food intolerance.
Plus I can now smell the related IBS triggers a mile off too. Which considerably speeds up the recovery of my clients.
Do you have a narcissist stirring up your IBS?
Do you have a narcissist in your life stirring up your IBS? Triggering past hurts with parents, siblings, situations at school, or at work?
Although you can’t change them, you CAN change the relationship you have with them. I have done this – and I can coach you to recovery.
Otherwise it is best to really limit contact with them – and replace them with people who support you.
Because you’re worth it.8